Hangovers Are Not A Hoot

I know that I haven't posted in a while, but it has been because of a combination of St. Patrick's day and March Madness. I had a few bad hangovers. Hangovers are an odd phenomenon. Some nights you can go out and drink the liquor cabinet sampler and wake up ready to run a marathon. Other nights you can drink a few beers and wake up contemplating suicide.

Any night you go out you seem to be playing Russian roulette. Will tomorrow do me in?

I have my share of war stories, and I am sure a picture of my withered liver is due to many fun nights I had that I vaguely remember. I thought it would be good now if I could give back and let you know of some ways to help avoid that morning hangover or at least lessen the severity.

1. Buy Chaser pills at your drug store. This was recommended to me by a Doctor who said they hypothetically would work. They have done a great job for me so far. Sure it might be a placebo effect but who the hell cares. Warning: It will make your toilet the day after look like an abandoned hibachi grill at a tailgate.

2. Sneak in a glass of water here and there through the night. Some of your friends might make fun of you, but you can tell them that it's straight vodka. They probably won't even remember making fun of you the next day anyway. It will help you stay hydrated.

3. Keep some Pedialite in your fridge. Drink some before you go to bed if you can remember. This will keep you from getting dehydrated.

4. Eat eggs. The same doctor who recommended the Chaser pills also told me to do this. There is some kind of enzyme in eggs that helps prevent hangovers or something. I am not talking about eggs that women ovulate, I am talking about the kinds from chickens. There are plenty of all night diners.

5. Buy some vitamin-B complex and aspirin. The aspirin will help with the headache and the vitamin B actually speeds up the metabolism of alcohol in your system. This will hopefully shorten the length of the hangover while also giving you some much needed energy.

6. Throw up and steam. If you are feeling nauseous then just get it over with. You will feel better after. Try to have a hot steamy shower so you can sweat the booze out of your pores. I personally smell like a cheap brewery the next day. I can shower five times and still smell of it. You can only sweat it out.

7. Just keep drinking. I worked with a guy one summer that said he never got a hangover because he just wouldn't sober up. Have a hair of the dog. He used to carry around mouthwash and just drink it. It did the trick for him, and I am sure it did wonders for his dental hygiene.

8. Drink clear booze. The clearer the booze, the less the impurities in it. I am just telling you what I heard.

Or maybe you just shouldn't drink. That never seems to happen though. Think about it though. Everyone is so drunk and slow while you are working at full capabilities. It's like you would be in the matrix. It works in theory anyway.

Happy drinking!!!