By Any Means Necessary

I had a roommate in college that seemed to be drawn to a certain young lady like a drunken sailor to the sirens of yore. There was no stopping him. The funny thing is that he despised her very existence when sober.

When the alcohol wore off then so did the spell. He told me to not let him go home with her no matter what the circumstances. However, when he had a few beam and gingers in him then he was lured to her again. I politely stepped in to get him away but his eyes were locked in, and he told me everything was okay. Off into the night again he was under her spell.

The next morning he came in looking at me like he was a morbidly obese boy, and I was the bastard that just replaced his McDonald's milkshake with a slimfast. He berated me for letting me go home with her. He then told me to not let him go home with her again and to use "any means necessary".

A week later we were at our local watering hole when she came in. I saw his eyes light up, and he almost floated on air over to her kind of like how you would see cartoons being drawn in by the aroma of a fresh baked pie. He had that comatose zombie look on his face and knew that reasoning would be about as useful as putting preperaion-h on a canker sore.

What was I to do?

I noticed him standing by a pillar, and I knew I had to act fast. I was off like a shot and hit a dead sprint. I finally rammed my shoulder into his sternum and heard his back smacking against the brick pillar. We both plummeted to the ground, and soon after I looked over to see him chuckling.

The hit broke his spell. I looked up and saw her rather puzzled as she saw two grown men laughing in pain on the floor. She looked dazed as she walked off, but the spell was never more.

Wow. I think I just wrote my first children's book.