When Did The Super Bowl Become Metrosexual?

What the hell happened to the Super Bowl? I was flipping around to see what was on and saw that the pre game started at 2pm so thought I would enjoy some great analytical pre game and sports talk. I thought my cable box was broken when I saw Ryan Seacrest standing on a red carpet. Is this E? Hell no, it was the pre game.

"What the frick?" as my Mormon coworkers used to say.

Ryan Seacrest should never be associated with anything football related and the only red carpet at the super bowl should be soaked in blood. I felt the testosterone in my body depleting more and more with every minute that I watched.

I started watching at 2 PM as a virile red blooded American that enjoys the company of women. An hour passed and found myself checking out my fingernails thinking I could use a manicure. 4:30 comes around and I want to exfoliate my skin, shape my eyebrows and and talk about my feelings. I am watching football and am slowly becoming gay!

I have a friend that went to an Oscar party last year and told him he was pretty gay for doing so. I have no room to speak anymore after watching the Super Bowl pre game. A few hours have passed since the game ended, but I still have the urge now to watch The Hills.

I have nothing against gays or metrosexuals. To each their own. Please leave me the super bowl though.

Other random thoughts from the game:

I hate both teams but love football, and that was one of the best games I have seen in a while.

Tiki Barber is a whiny self-absorbed bitch, and it makes me happy that he sat at home with his thumb up his ass as this team achieved everything he said they couldn't.

I took part in a super bowl box but didn't want to know what numbers I had until after the game. I had a feeling it would be a great game and it was. It can get kind of annoying in the middle of an epic game and people are rooting for a safety at the end of the half.

Alicia Keys is hot and snapped me out of my momentary homosexuality caused by the pre game nancy boy antics.

Eli reinvented himself in the last 2 months. He went from zero to hero.

I want to incorporate hot sauce and blue cheese dressing into my love life. I don't want to hear her crying about potential urinary tract infections or .......

Oh snap!

My heterosexuality is 100% back now. I just had a mental image of Erin Andrews smothered in blue cheese and hot sauce with the gentle melodic espn theme music playing in the background.

Wow, that makes me feel randy.

Take care all!